I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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