Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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