fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
