and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize