Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
