Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
this hospital has no fireball
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
