I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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