Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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