i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
