ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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