So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
