They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
