so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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