I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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