He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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