You can't motorboat a personality
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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