he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
