dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
