im having a threesome with these popsicles
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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