if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
