I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
