im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize