lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
