I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
