seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
