I wanna passion pit in your ass
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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