I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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