I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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