it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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