Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
