just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
