Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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