you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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