OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
