we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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