i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
