Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
