Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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