Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
