nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
