when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
