Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
