I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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