if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize