I have demons in me.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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