if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
