need another drink. this is the easiest way
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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