i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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