If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
