yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
