You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
