Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
