How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't deserve a penis
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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