I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
