Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize