we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
