Don't make out with my wife yet
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
