Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
