Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize